Meenakshi Nair |
|
Failures
On TV there are surgeons
with steady hands and god complexes
who swoop in, order tests, read scans
and operate.
But here, in real life, there are surgeons
who say if that was my mother
I’d let her die at home,
in peace.
Mourners and hangers on
ask Amma
Didn’t you take her to the doctor?
as though the answer could possibly be no.
Her hip broke, once, years ago –
doctors replaced it.
Her uterus floated around, for a while, years ago –
doctors removed it.
This time we watch as her eyes glaze over
and as her breath grows laboured,
knowing all the while that her own body
has turned against her.
I try not to cry when I’m by her side
and instead stroke her arm.
Inside, I struggle to accept the limits
of modern medicine.
On TV there are surgeons
with steady hands and god complexes
who swoop in, order tests, read scans
and operate.
But here, in real life, there are surgeons
who say if that was my mother
I’d let her die at home,
in peace.
Mourners and hangers on
ask Amma
Didn’t you take her to the doctor?
as though the answer could possibly be no.
Her hip broke, once, years ago –
doctors replaced it.
Her uterus floated around, for a while, years ago –
doctors removed it.
This time we watch as her eyes glaze over
and as her breath grows laboured,
knowing all the while that her own body
has turned against her.
I try not to cry when I’m by her side
and instead stroke her arm.
Inside, I struggle to accept the limits
of modern medicine.
