Shibaji Ray \ Monsoon 2015
on birthdays I over-think,
about your enthusiasm
touching upon the furthest end
of being formless
I ponder, mother what
it felt to think before self-knowing,
in that mediated dreamscape.
was it a borrowed parasitic memory
inviting comfort and deceit from
or was it a new rule of servitude, to balm
my loss of ownership, to a name you had called me?
and sometimes I do not ask questions.
that we overcame identity together
through pain in a timeless struggle, seems good enough.
perhaps we have always existed in this shared realm
and ‘birth’ was a simple augmentation of your instinct for endurance;
– and a fragment of our memories to become
Shibaji Ray lives in New Delhi, India.